There is this feeling, when you are comfortable in your own skin; a feeling that embraces you and makes you truly live. I have felt this feeling, through fitness. I have achieved a goal, without knowing it. I'm afraid of that- the not knowing when I have made it- as much as I'm afraid of alot of things. I have fallen so far from that person I was, that person I want to be.
This journey is full of challenges: finding time to exercise, finding the motivation, fighting against that voice in your head, the negative thoughts and the confidence killers.
Most of all I want to be healthy, but I have fought a battle with weight that lead me to an unhealthy approach; I fear this will happen again, but part of me feels like even that would be better than this.
The out of control feeling, the disappointment I feel when I look in the mirror and can't do things I want to do. The disgust I have when I try on clothes or another pair of my favourite jeans don't fit. Its a constant struggle, a never ending craving for junk, an endless battle of failures.

That is why I joined this, to find an answer of sorts. To find the dedication to finally break free of my own self made restrainst and those that life have put on me. Its about breaking the limits, and pushing yourself into your full potential.

I appologize for the silence of late,
                        - Paula.