Be a child

Yesterday, I went to the park while babysitting a few kids. I couldn't remember the last time I had played on the play gym or sat swinging on the swings. I couldn't remember when I just aimlessly ran around, or did cart wheels in the grass, but yesterday I did all that. I ran around dribbling the soccer ball, pulling tricks, aiming at hard to hit targets and I had FUN.
I did side ways hanging crunches aided by the swings, I did mountain climbers in the grass. I did downward dog for long stretches of time as the kids pretended I was a bridge to crawl under.
All this left me wondering, when did I become so serious? When did I lose the ability to find simple pleasures...
I wanted to write an uplifting post yesterday but life interferred with two tests I had to study for. So I'm writing it now.

I'm writing it just to say, go outside, get some fresh air and just have fun. Channel the child you were or are, and embrace it. We can't let lifes stresses and never ending complications bring up down. With little steps, we'll just keep getting stronger.

Remember to smile
     -- Paula.

Make it fun =]

Its so easy to get stuck with your position in life. To accept the way things are, whether they are satisfactory or not. I often find myself being a cynic; in fact peoples optimism either makes me sick or angry, mainly because I wonder how I am so different from everyone else.
And really am I so different, or do people just hide it better?
Are those happy energetic smiling people in the morning -that I often take a disliking to for no good reason- just as lost and overwhelmed as me?
I constantly wonder how they can be so loud and happy at such and hour when I have to drag myself out of bed and half the mornings I don't even succed at that.
The point, and I do have a point, is that the mind is often the thing that holds you back the most; whether its in fitness, your job, relationships, or other aspects of your existence, ultimately if your brain is 'unhealthy' your life will reflect it.

So clear the stress, empty out the cobwebs in your mind, and try to relax. Don't stress about getting skinny or healthy, just do it. Find the joy and peace within the journey and eventually, before you know it you'll be there.
- Paula.

There is this feeling, when you are comfortable in your own skin; a feeling that embraces you and makes you truly live. I have felt this feeling, through fitness. I have achieved a goal, without knowing it. I'm afraid of that- the not knowing when I have made it- as much as I'm afraid of alot of things. I have fallen so far from that person I was, that person I want to be.
This journey is full of challenges: finding time to exercise, finding the motivation, fighting against that voice in your head, the negative thoughts and the confidence killers.
Most of all I want to be healthy, but I have fought a battle with weight that lead me to an unhealthy approach; I fear this will happen again, but part of me feels like even that would be better than this.
The out of control feeling, the disappointment I feel when I look in the mirror and can't do things I want to do. The disgust I have when I try on clothes or another pair of my favourite jeans don't fit. Its a constant struggle, a never ending craving for junk, an endless battle of failures.

That is why I joined this, to find an answer of sorts. To find the dedication to finally break free of my own self made restrainst and those that life have put on me. Its about breaking the limits, and pushing yourself into your full potential.

I appologize for the silence of late,
                        - Paula.

Struggles

Well, its been a while. A long while.  I've worked too much, spent a lot of time on school, and a lot of time with the people i love.It's left the gym in second place. It's getting there though, finding the motivation to get into it. It's a lot to get used to. Just have to find a balance, gotta find a balance...

megan.xox.

Masochistic Determination To Fitness: A New Start

Masochistic Determination To Fitness: A New Start: "Thin is so superficial. Being this, tiny girl with size zero waist. A tiny heap of skin and bones. Why not love yourself for you? This, FitF..."

A New Start

Thin is so superficial. Being this, tiny girl with size zero waist. A tiny heap of skin and bones.
Why not love yourself for you?
This, FitFat challenge is not for anyone. Its not for you, its not for my parents, its not for my boyfriend. Everything We do here, is for us.
Its to feel better about ourselves, to push the boundaries, to become fit enough for us. To look in the mirror and enjoy what we see.
This is going to be an emotional journey to reach goals, feel better and start living more, becoming closer as friends.
If you follow us, we'll update photos of our accomplishments, personal diaries of our frustrations and accomplisments, tips we've used and anything we feel like sharing. Your support will help us reach them.
Its not about being thin. It's about being happy with yourself and loving who you are.

-Megan   xox.

The beginning

It takes alot of courage, to put yourself out here like Megan and I are doing. Alot of things take courage, and sometimes the best place to reinforce your courage is in a community of people with similair ideas, goals and views.

We are FitFat, a term Megan invented to describe a fit person that is still fat. Oddly enough, it suits us rather perfectly.

We are both bigger girls, but we can hold our own. Megan played rugby before a bad shoulder injury, and I play soccer twice a week at a competitive level.

Blame it on genetics, or bad habits, whatever the deal may be but we are at a place where we are not happy with ourselves. A place where we are tired of the way we look and feel, tired of not feeling capable.

We want to climb mountains and run miles! ( Something I have never ever ever been able to do, as I'm not a natural runner), but thats the point. To push the boundaries,  find the inner strength -the will inside of us- to become our fittest.

- Paula.